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In couples therapy instruction, coaching and feedback is given to help you develop new skills to improve your relationship, including:

• Learning ways to communicate better

• Learning how to argue in a healthier way

• Learning how to resolve conflict and problem solve in a productive manner

• Learning appropriate expression, disclosure and resolution of painful emotions

• Learning how to state your needs clearly and openly within your relationship

• Learning how to work through unresolved issues

• Learning how to negotiate for change within your relationship

Couples counseling is hard work, for counseling to be effective, you must approach counseling with a realistic attitude. Don’t expect a quick fix, or that the counselor will be doing all of the work. The process of unlearning bad habits and learning new, more effective habits is often intense, frustrating and exhausting. Expect the process to be difficult and take time, but that it can be worth the effort. Taking responsibility for your share of your marital problems is the first step toward finding effective solutions. Don’t expect to change your partner. No one has the power to change another person. Instead, focus on learning what you contribute to your relationship problems and changing your own attitude, behavior and skills.